At the age of 16 I got my first job working in a late night Macdonalds. This was as you would expect it; late shifts, lots of drunk customers, and a work team that treated the restaurant like a play ground. It is to date the best job I have ever had the customers were prone to slightly unusual behaviour. Role on my first customer story.
The guy who took a shit on a Mac Donald's counter
Now I realise in titling this story I have possibly given the punchline away however stick with me, it’s worth it. One night shift in maccy d’s we were getting to the end of what had been a long and stressful night. What usually happened at this time is the radio was turned up and cleaning commenced. Our attention would be directed into the kitchen and if anyone came in looking for a burger the likelyhood of being served was significantly reduced. As we chatted loudly a man stumbled up and rested his head on the counter, my manager took one look at him and said “Sorry mate, grill’s closed” the customer didn’t get abusive or throw a tantrum but instead tried grovelling “c’mon mate I haven’t eaten all day I just want a burger, just sort us out isi” but the grill had already been cleaned and this bloke was not getting any burger. The man accepted and my manager apologised and went into the office. The girls on the till were in the kitchen flirting with the men who worked on the grill. That’s when one of the older chef’s saw the man climbing on the counter. The chef immediately ran out and shouted “Oi mate what do you think your doing.” and we watched as the man ran out of the door holding up his trousers . It didn’t take us long to realise what he’s been doing on the counter in fact the package this man had dispensed was quite a sizeable load. (It had become obvious that he probably had eaten that day) It was left to one of the floor assistants to clean up and made for a funny story the next week.
About a week later the same bloke came in this time around one o’Clock in the afternnon on a Saturday. The restaurant was full of small children, weekend dads and birthday parties. He came to my till and I looked at him and said “We’re not gonna serve you” this time he was angry “Are you a fucking burger place or what you wouldn’t give me a burger last time you wont give me a burger this time!” I got my ghetto on “Look mate, you know why we wont serve you now get out or we’ll call the police” , “no I dont know why don’t you tell me” at this point a large amount of small children and parents were waiting interested in my response for the sake of maintain the slightest bit of decorum I resisted the urge to scream “YOU TOOK A SHIT ON OUR COUNTER!” By this time the police who had been called by my manager when the man walked in had turned up and dragged the man out of the restaurant this time with his trousers around his waist.
And that is where my career in catering started, the first of many anecdotes revolved around my job of giving people food. After I left MacDonald’s I began working for a gourmet burger company and then on to the swanky cafe in a posh area of London I currently work for.
Be careful how you act to your waitress because it could end up on the internet.
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